It’s A Long Way To Tipperary
January 29th, 2009Sometimes out of no where my dad would start singing “It’s a long way to Tipperary, it’s a long way to go..” he would stop while walking put one hand up like he was about to conduct an orchestra and belt out this song with his chin tucked in and in a low booming voice. It didn’t matter where he was when he’d start singing. It could be at our house, in a store or at the dentist. If the mood struck him, he’d just start singing, because in my dad’s mind everyone must love that song, and love it even more when he sang it.
Its 1 year to the date that we lost our dad (September 24th) and I can’t believe that a year has past.
I feel we have betrayed my father in the worst way by letting time go by, continuing with our lives, laughing, loving and moving on, further away from him. If we truly loved him how could we leave him?
We are all just one heartbeat away from him. One breath separates him from us and yet it seems to be a million miles.
Jack still talks about my dad, but the questions have become less frequent and the crying only happens when he’s tired and remembering ‘his Marty’. I have pictures of my dad in my room and every now and then I ask Jack to point out to me who Marty is. He was 4 when my dad passed away, so I know it’s only a matter of time before he starts to forget and his memories fade, and for me, that will be like losing my dad all over again.
My dad was a cross between Michael Cain, Peter Ustinov (you are missing so much if you don’t know who he is) and Alec Gilroy from Coronation Street. Bigger then life when he walked into a room and always had something interesting to say or an observation to make (these were not always welcome observations, they could range from “have you gained weight?” to Tottenham finally winning a game).
There’s a song that always reminds my sisters and I of my dad, it’s September by Earth Wind and Fire. He loved that song and would dance around the house with us whenever we played it (when we were young teenage girls). It’s funny how he loved that song so much and how we identify that song with my dad.
My mom and dad were married in September. My dad danced with me on my wedding day in September… to the song September. My dad died in September.
Recently I was in a store browsing with a co-worker during our lunch break. “Mall” music was playing in the store, but then “September” came on.
My eyes immediately filled with tears, and I was unable to tell her what was wrong. Thank goodness she had the grace to walk away from me as I tried to compose myself. I rooted through my purse for my phone, called my sister. Of course I couldn’t say anything when she picked up, but she knew there was someone on the other end of the phone crying. I was finally able to blurt out “I’m at Restoration Hardware…” “what’s wrong??” she said.
“There playing September.”
Enough said. She stayed on the phone with me until I stopped crying.
In September we placed my dad’s stone on his grave.
This was a somber event with only close friends and family.
At the end of the rabbi’s blessing she asked if there was anyone that wanted to say anything about “Marty”
Normally I’m not at a loss for words, but this day it was all I could do to not openly sob. I wanted so much to talk about my dad, but I couldn’t. The words stuck in my throat.
Thank goodness for Jack.
In front of everyone, Jack stepped forward and began telling the Rabbi why we were ‘here’ today. “We’re Jewish”, he began “and when you’re Jewish you put a big stone down with Marty’s name on it so we know where to visit him. Each time we visit him we put a little stone on top of his big stone…that has his name on it. That way he knows we were here and we love him”.
Jack then stopped talking, realizing everyone was watching him, taking in all he had said. He then turned to the Rabbi and said “I can stand like a Flamingo” and promptly pulled up one of his legs and stood like a Flamingo.
The Rabbi commended him on his understanding of the Jewish religion and his ability to mimic a Flamingo.
My dad would have been schticking himself.
**********************************************
Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away
Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away
Aaahh Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day
My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay
Now December found the love that we shared in September.
Only blue talk and love,
Remember the true love we share todayyy yeah
Aaahhh Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day
There wasn’t Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in September
Ba de ya - golden dreams were shiny days
The bells were ringing
oh our souls were singing
Do you remember, never a cloudy day?
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